Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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