something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
