I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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