i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
