okay pat passed out under dana's car
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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