oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
why is half of my head shaved?
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