you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
