In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
