i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
