That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
