our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize