And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
