NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I need to sanitize my soul.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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