from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
