like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
