Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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