pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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