I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
