Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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