that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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