He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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