i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
