we're blogging at a bar
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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