Kiss
Puke
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
