His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
