she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
