I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
