The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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