So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
