Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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