??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
