upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
