Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
