Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
