I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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