went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
