just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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