they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
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It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
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A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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