I wannas sexs uuuuu
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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