I cockslap morals
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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