i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize