I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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