All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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