I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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I want her autograph on my taint
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
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This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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