my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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