Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
