I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My pussy is not your playground.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I deserve this hangover.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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