Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
