also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
