just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize