Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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