I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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