The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
