Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
