half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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