I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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