where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize