you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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