quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
