I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
