that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
