She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
