His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
